All Mine
by Flamedancer33
Summary: Muraki and the killer inside him talk about favorite memories... About his meeting with Hisoka, of course. Thee be warned of dark themes.


Flame: Ha! Eight, almost nine months of nothing, then we manage to start something new!

Dancer: o.O

Flame: Anyways... yes, I'm a Yami no Matsuei fan. And no, I'm not a Muraki/anyone fan. I actually like Tsu/His best… which is why you can catch some of it if you pay attention…

WARNING: Dark themes ahead. Not unusual for me (read: described lately as 'satanic witch' and 'vengeful little twerp' in English class), but it might offend some sensitive people out there.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yami no Matsuei. Sigh.

_you were mine you see all mine all mine_

It had been routine for a while. A routine kill, with the blood-red moon shining down on me. It was boring, almost. It lacked a certain… dignity. Grace. I wanted something far more than I got. I was bored, trying not to let routine get to me.

_you were mine all mine no one elses but mine all mine_

And then you appeared.

I saw grace and dignity borne into a human, and thought only of the end of the monotony. The variation in the routine. The bump in the road. The flaw in the otherwise perfect porcelain doll.

The routine was gone. You were beautiful, standing there, watching me as if you were waiting for yourself to awaken from this nightmare. And suddenly, I couldn't kill you then. Oh, yes, eventually you would die, and I would enjoy every second of your death, but it would be a shame to kill you so quickly.

_all mine all mine you belong to me until the day you die all mine you see all mine_

I was only protecting myself, I would tell you later. Yes, you were beautiful. Yes, I was bored. The only reason I killed you that night, I told you, was because you had seen my face. No, you hadn't- you had seen the face of the murderer that is inside me. The dark eyes and laughing face that rests next to my icy heart, waiting to be called upon.

You fought me, at first. When I tried to kiss you, you bit my tongue. Amusing little doll, I thought. After I hit you, a careless backhanded slap across your face, you didn't do it again. Easily broken. Still, you had made me bleed, something that had not happened in too long.

_and i ripped into you hurt you abused you tortured you and i loved you and hated you and cared for you and didnt care for you_

Yes, I was protecting myself. But I was also getting my fill of excitement, which would not come my way again for quite some time.

I loved your empathy. You hated that I knew about it, especially since I used it to my advantage. But you see, little doll, I do my research. I know what powers you possess, and why your family has shunned you. And I used those powers to break you further. You responded so well to my emotions.

_you were all mine yes yes all mine for that one night and you will be mine forever and beyond because you are mine and no one elses_

As I sat there, enjoying a cigarette and your broken sobs, I suddenly decided something. I would treasure this night forever- but you, my little doll, would remember it never. You, who had been my relief from routine, would be my experiment again.

I watched you, watched your small body shake violently. You were curled up, with your back to me, as if that would protect you. You were being childish, we both knew, wishing I would go away and thinking that because you couldn't see me I wasn't real.

I stood, and walked over to my earlier kill, and picked up the knife.

And you screamed.

_cut you bled you loved it and you screamed so much little doll you screamed until you were hoarse and i cut you and let you bleed and cursed you and you screamed and i laughed_

You were asleep when I brought you back. Perhaps unconscious was a better word, but that was what I told your servants. They looked at you in a strange way, perhaps smelling your blood. I handed you to one of them and chatted with two women as you were carried away.

After a moment, I left. Your father was coming and I had no desire to be there when he arrived. I had told the servants nothing. And you, being a good little doll, you remembered nothing.

_gone now all gone youre dead not mine anymore i cant lose you youre still mine if i want you all mine all mine all mine all mine_

You died slowly, over the space of three years. My interest in you never faded. I was busy, sometimes, preparing for what was soon to come. But I never forgot you. I even sent you flowers once. I don't know if they ever reached you.

After you died, you faded. I didn't give you a second thought for the longest of times. And when you came back, you came back with him.

_now hes mine and youre mine and all mine both of you hate you both love you both want to break you want to keep you precious little dolls both mine_

And now, here we are. The three of us, trapped in a complex web of emotions and thoughts and desires and death, dance this deadly little dance. I love both of you, in my own way, and I hate both of you, in another way.

You tell me I'm insane. You tell me I'm psychotic and twisted and cruel and dark. You tell me you hate me and want me dead. You tell me I'm evil. You tell me I have no control over either of you. You tell me I'm a monster who plays with the lives of others. You tell me I'm a murderer.

I tell you that you're beautiful, both of you. I tell you I have control over you- and if you want proof, little doll, look at your skin and watch him try to kill himself again. I tell you I deserve to play this way, since I had been played with in such a manner before.

And I tell you, now and forever, that you are mine

_all mine all mine all mine all mine_

and nobody else's

_all mine all mine all mine all mine no one elses_

Perhaps, someday, you will be free of me. But don't wait, little doll, where I can find you. Because find you I will, long before you find a life without me.

I have two dolls now, each broken before and begging, in their own quiet way, to be broken again.

I can't wait.


End file.
